I never knew that healing from a narcissistic partner could feel like a lifetime sentence. Yet here I am, still trying to reclaim my peace and protect my heart after years of manipulation, abuse, and emotional warfare.
For years, I was entangled with a man I now see for what he is—a narcissist. We share children together, and that bond has been his weapon of choice. For 5 to 8 exhausting years, he dragged me through court, not out of love for our children, but to gain custody so I couldn’t speak out about the abuse he inflicted on them.
He won custody on last year, and that day felt like the final blow in a battle I was destined to lose. The constant back-and-forth for the kids wasn’t healthy for them or me. And even after all I’ve done to protect them, no one—neither the courts nor the system—has stepped in to help.
The Abuse Never Ends
Despite gaining custody, his abuse hasn’t stopped. He continues to emotionally torment our children, all while blaming me. He dismisses my concerns as delusional, insisting that I need help, but refuses to take accountability for his own behavior.
I’ve been through evaluations, exposed the truth, and tried to get people to see what’s really happening, but it feels like shouting into a void. The system has failed us, and the burden of fighting alone has been crushing.
Choosing My Mental Health
For my own sanity, I’ve made the heartbreaking decision to step back. I no longer visit my children, and I’ve cut him off completely—blocking his calls, his social media, and any other avenue he might use to manipulate me.
I know some people might judge this decision, but unless you’ve been in the grip of a narcissist, it’s hard to understand. Every interaction with him is a trap—a way to pull me back under his control, to make me question my own reality. I’ve realized that I can’t be the mother my children need if I’m broken. I need to heal so I can stand strong for them in the future.
The Endless Harassment
Even after cutting ties, he continues to harass me. He creates fake profiles to contact me, accusing me of abandoning my children, as if I’ve walked away without reason. But he knows the truth. He knows that his own actions—the abuse, the manipulation, the lies—are the reason I’ve had to step back.
And yet, he’ll never admit it. That’s the nature of a narcissist. They rewrite the narrative to make themselves the victim and you the villain.
Praying for Justice
I don’t know when, or if, justice will come for my children. It breaks my heart to know they are still in his grasp, enduring the same abuse I fought so hard to shield them from. I pray every day for their safety, for their healing, for a miracle.
It feels like the system has abandoned us, but I refuse to give up hope. I have to believe that one day, someone will listen. One day, someone will step in and say, “Enough.”
To Other Survivors
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling with a narcissistic partner, know that you’re not alone. The pain, the exhaustion, the hopelessness—it’s something so many of us understand.
Take care of yourself. Protect your peace. And don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what you need to survive.
Healing is messy, and sometimes it feels like it will never end. But I have to believe that by sharing our stories and supporting each other, we can find the strength to keep going.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d love to hear how you found your way through. Your words might be the lifeline I need right now.
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